It's Me, Hi, I'm the Beauty Burnout, It's Me
Who would've thought I'd make a Taylor Swift reference?
Hello to my 33 subscribers, it's been a while. Not just a while — it's been 2 years. I'm coming back to this after experiencing a few things. In my last newsletter, I mentioned I had quit my job and *promptly* started a new one. Well, I left that other job and started a new one, but judging by the people who subscribe, you already know this. I lost that blue checkmark on Twitter, which is actually great news. Lastly, I’ve finally regained my love for beauty — and this is the most exciting of all.
At the beginning of the pandemic (I think I’m allowed to say that we’re still in one?), I bought too much shit. I fell hard for comfy clothes and Baby Foot masks galore, but I also hoarded enough facial oils, buttery lipsticks, and glossy nail polishes to last me the rest of this curséd decade. But then 2022 hit and I was in a deep beauty slump, or what I would consider to be one. I basically abandoned serums except for this during the summer. I kept things simple with CeraVe or Cetaphil, I don’t know, they’re the same thing to me. I still wore sunscreen, but I attempted and failed to start a retinol routine. I don’t even want to talk about the makeup just sitting in my closet or baking in the sun on my vanity — haha, jk, my room doesn’t get that much light.
I couldn’t really articulate what was going on until I was zoning out at the end of a session with my therapist, who I ghosted last year. I hit rewind in my brain and thought about when I was wearing the most makeup and indulging in the most skin care. Arguably, it was when I was a beauty editor but it was also when I worked in cosmetics, both of which had their own (high) doses of toxicity. During one of those lives, I dodged the bullet on a possibly fatal flaw in my kidneys (lol). And during the other, I was combating panic attacks that felt like strokes (lmao). I was not great, Bob!! (IYKYK)
I realized that there was something there and that maybe my brain and body were still processing the past and that past involved me doing daily zoom-in videos of my lipstick or tagging a whole look just to get brands to notice me. Maybe I needed a long chunk of time without the theatrics of a purple lip or glass skin (haha, remember that trend??), or a flashy hair color — although we can all agree, the green teeny-weeny ‘fro was amazing. So I showed up to my current office wearing no makeup, well I mean, I would groom my eyebrows. I relied heavily on Aquaphor and again, sunscreen. I put on one of my fave sheer Dior glosses when meeting up with friends, but that’s it. Could you imagine if I was dating during that time? No, you can’t, because I never date.
At the end of the day, I was burnt out, and instead of continuing to burn rubber while beat to the gods, I chilled the fuck out.
That era is over though, I think. Now that I can enjoy beauty on my own terms without having to figure out how I can bang out a trend piece, I’m getting back into the swing of (beautiful) things. Just to prove myself, I’m thinking of turning this into a beauty-focused newsletter that’s more than just about buying things. I’m not putting high expectations on myself — nor on my soft return to wearing makeup to work — because if pivoting to tech has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t take myself too seriously. I’ll try not to get into the politics of The Industry because enough newsletters already do that, but if I have a steaming hot take, why not write about it? I’ll talk about my own approaches to skin care and makeup, but I would love to hear about my friends’ approaches, too. Basically, this will be chaotic but fun!
I think I might rename this to Beauty Burnout, but let me know what you think.
Tell your friends! Chanel is back! See you next time, in probably two more years!